If you’ve ever told me that I’m vain, read on. Umm, even if you haven’t, you should read on also…

So, I’m at the gym today. I set the 300 pound dumbbells I use for curls back on the rack. I know they say 30, but they’re really 300. It’s a gym secret. You wouldn’t understand. I notice the guy on the bench next to me standing rather close to the mirror. He appeared to wipe a bead or two of sweat off his face, fixed his hair and sat back down on the bench.

I thought, “Wow, that’s some serious vanity going on there. Only in L.A.”

Less than two minutes later, I looked up and sure enough, he’s back at the mirror again. Yep, doing the same thing. He wiped a couple beads of sweat off his face, fixed his hair and sat back down on the bench.

I thought, “I can’t imagine how vain this guy would be if he was actually a good looking person.”

During the next thirty minutes, I saw him return to the mirror after every single set. Each time, he did the same exact thing. The most entertaining part about it was watching everyone else watch him. The entire gym was fixated on the absurdity he was putting on display. Each time he sat back down on his bench, everyone glanced at the people around them and flashed a quick smirk.

In all honesty, the guy kind of looked like David Beckham. … With down syndrome. And serious skin pigment issues, considering he was Asian. I’m contemplating bringing in an electric razor and shaving my chest in the weight-room mirror tomorrow. Do you think anyone will say anything? If nothing else, I’m sure everyone will think I’m cool.

On a semi-serious note, I can only fathom one of two things was happening with this guy:

(1) He was aware of what was going on around him about as much as John McCain’s campaign manager. … OR
(2) He hangs a picture of Brad Pitt on the back of his door and someone told him it was a mirror.

Either way, I really hope he comes to the gym every single day. It just makes my workout so much more entertaining.