My shoulder angel sent me an email last night. I feel that it’s appropriate to share with all of you: Dearest J-Ri — If I wanted to read about a bunch of teenie-boppers seething over a movie made for Jr. High kids, I would watch Degrassi and renew my subscription to Teen Vogue. Did I [...]
It’s amazing to me that these guys are able to form complete sentences without saying anything at all. Tom: Mr. Riley, why did the Lakers lose tonight? J-Ri: Well, the sky is blue, Tom (chuckles). School’s need money to provide more dodge balls at recess. It’s been said that higher taxes mean you pay more [...]
Lakers vs. Celtics. We live in an American society that often times gives birth to hatred. Many children are taught racism, and despise people from differing cultural backgrounds. Others are educated to hate people based on how much money they have, what their occupations are or which area of the city they are from. As [...]
2,792. At first glance, that number could represent an array of different things. For example, it’s around the number of dollars I would have to be paid to watch the Tyra Banks show. … Or maybe the number of times Hillary Clinton has thought, “Hmm, I wonder if anyone will find out that I’m a [...]
Thanks to Bess’s awesome myspace comment on Brown’s page, I have been inspired to also compile a Top-10 list (In no particular order) of random memories about my 36 months as Brown’s roommate. Granted, we may have been trapped in the humid, frozen Iceland of Kansas City, but we definitely had some good times. And [...]
I am convinced that the Spurs, Celtics, Patriots and Red Sox each own a piece of Time Warner Cable. Just typing the name of those hell-bound franchises caused me to have a mild fit of irritable bowel syndrome. All evil must be related somehow, right? … It’s okay, just go with it. Time Warner seems [...]
I’ve had some bad days in my life. For instance, last year when I found out I had AIDS. That was a terrible day. Okay, so that’s not true and it’s never been that horrific. I guess things could be worse. I could be a woman… a lesbian woman… a lesbian woman dating Rosie O’Donnell. [...]
I’m constantly bothered by spineless reporters. Take T.J. Simers of the L.A. Times for instance. In the history of sports journalism, has there ever been a more defective columnist? I’m sure the conversation with his poor wife after their first child was born went something like this: Doctor: Mr. Simers, congratulations! Wife: (Hands him the [...]
There are a lot of things that I don’t particularly enjoy. For example, Anna Nicole Smith media buzz. Seriously, has she ever been interesting? Obese women… who dress like they’re not really a size 26 parading around the mall in a pair of Hollister jeans made for Kate Moss. Please stay out of your daughter’s [...]
My poor, wonderful Mom has been subjected to more Lakers-initiated temper tantrums than any parent should have to witness in ten lifetimes. By now, she’s learned to take some drastic measures to avoid any type of costly disasters that may result from, say, a Lakers loss in Game four to Phoenix. For example, all glass [...]