The"Not-So-Great Debate

Let’s clear one thing up: Politics are synonymous with White Castle. Sure, you’ll eat it if you have to, but when it’s all said and done, it ends up in the toilet… exactly where a load of crap should go. Tonight’s political debate exemplified the arrogant, deceptive nature of political agendas’ in America. Here’s a summary:

Barack: I’m right.
John: No, I am.
Barack: No, my record proves it.
John: No, mine does.
Barack: No, it doesn’t.
John: Yes, it does.

… Blah, blah, blah, and so continue the run-on sentences, cheap jabs and repetitive points for the better part of the next two hours. Of course, when the debate is over, we’re greeted with more political rhetoric from both campaigns:

David Plouffe, campaign manager for Senator Obama said, “This was a clear victory for Barack Obama on John McCain’s home turf.”

Almost simultaneously, Jill Hazelbaker representing Senator McCain’s campaign said, “There was one man who was presidential tonight; that man was John McCain.”

These rehearsed statements have about as much to do with the actual debate as Sprint’s customer service department has to do with the customer. Politics are kind of like sports, except there are no rules or methods of score keeping.

It’s like sitting me in a studio with Cedric Maxwell after watching Kobe Bryant and Paul Pierce play horse… except that they’re not playing horse because there are no rules and nobody is keeping score. Our conversation might go a little something like this.

J-Ri: Kobe is the best.
Cedric: Paul is the best.
J-Ri: No, he’s not.
Cedric: Yes, he is. His ring proves it.
J-Ri: No, it doesn’t. Kobe’s three rings prove it.
Cedric: No, they don’t.
J-Ri: Yes, they do.

Sound familiar?

Everything about politics is subjective, entirely based on individuals’ values and world-view. Each candidates primary job is to tally up the most votes by creating more tacky catch-phrases than a 90′s Van Damme movie. Essentially, the better you are at reciting what you’re immediate audience wants to hear, the better candidate for President you will be.

We are living in the midst of extraordinary financial difficulty. We have an economy that appears to be moving further into a recession. We have growing terrorist threats in numerous Countries around the world. We have legislation that allows the execution of over 1.2 million babies every year. We have gas prices soaring to record numbers. We remain dependent on unfriendly Countries for our fuel supply. We are experiencing the greatest decline in family values in the history of America. We have growing Military conflicts in places like Iraq, Afghanistan and Iran.

Politics!? In times like these, the last thing America needs is more politics. We don’t care to hear more self-invested comments. We don’t want more bash the other guy commercials. We’re not interested in listening to more panelists bicker like 11-year-old girl scouts.

We need leaders. We need integrity. … We need sleep.

Good Night America.

… I’m Jason Riley, and I approve this message.

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