This sentence marks the official beginning of J-Ri.com’s advice column. I’ve decided to launch this genius initiative for two reasons:
#1: You have a problem.
#2: Dr. J-Ri (I.e. me) has the cure.
Thanks to my years and years of college and graduate school, I believe that I am unquestionably qualified to speak to all of your life situations. I feel a certain sense of obligation to help you be, for lack of a better expression, less-dumb. It is my genuine desire to help steer you away from the ignorant advice you may get from that one friend we all have:
You: Hey, I think I got this chick pregnant. I don’t know what to do!
Friend: You know those woods out behind my place?
You: Um, yeah?
Friend: We can bury her there.
As many of you know, I have earned my masters degree in life through hard work and possessing a rich history in successful dating relationships. I not only understand women, I am able to help them feel appreciated. I have accomplished this amazing feat by relinquishing all logic and learning to make decisions based entirely on how I feel. This paragraph alone clearly illustrates that I am in no way the emotion equivalent of an ironing board.
All jokes aside (And I sincerely hope you know that I’m mostly kidding), I want to provide you with the J-Ri.com satisfaction guarantee:
Once I exhaust the thirty-seven seconds of seriously pondering your dilemma, I will lie endlessly to entertain myself first, you second and all of my loyal readers last.
I’m glad we got that out the way. Here’s how you can participate:
#1. Fill out the form below.
#2. Tell your friends to fill out the form below.
Semi-regularly (typically whenever I feel like it) I will respond to my favorite advice request(s) via blog. So, please feel free to lambaste me with the deep challenges of your life. I promise my response(s) will be more worth your time than whatever chore you’re putting off to read this right now.
Have fun!
~Dr. J-Ri
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BRILLIANT
cool blog! Although Raptors are better
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