J-Ri's Random Thoughts

A Merry Snuggie Christmas!

It was not my plan to end ’09 with a lie. I was really hoping to save all of my harmless fibbing for ’10. It just didn’t work out that way.

To echo every guy during the last moments of a damned relationship, “I swear that I wasn’t trying to lie to you; I mean, it’s the thought that counts, right?” Wrong. It’s never the thought that counts. If it was, this conversation wouldn’t sound like something Lindsay Lohan slurred to the Paparazzi at 4am:

Girl: How could you sleep with her!
Guy: I don’t know; it just… happened!
Girl: You bastard!
Guy: But baby, I swear I thought about not cheating on you.
Girl: (Thinking) Well, it is the thought that counts…

This is the portion of the blog where I make excuses. For the sake of time (and bored readers), let’s just do this section like this:

(Excuse #1 – J-Ri plays the “I have been super busy” card)
(Excuse #2 – J-Ri plays the “I have been out of town” card)
(Excuse #3 – J-Ri plays the “It wasn’t totally my fault” card)

There we go. That was relatively painless (for me at least). I feel so much better about completely dropping the ball and never getting the cards printed. As a cheap, second rate substitute, I would like to do two things.

First, here is a very personal and heartwarming Holiday Greeting written specifically with you in mind:

Happy Holidays (Your Name);

Just the other day, I was thinking about that time we (first memory that comes to mind). That was (relative adjective)! I sincerely hope that you and (mutual friend and/or family member) have an absolutely wonderful Christmas and New Years! Try not to (eat or drink – whatever is appropriate) too much as you ring in 2010! When you get some time, drop me a (facebook message, email or phone call – dependant on the stage of the relationship) and let me know how things are going.

(appropriate form of deity) Bless you;
~J-Ri

Secondly, here is the card you would have received from me (and still may if I ever get around to it):

(Try to remember that it’s not gay because it’s funny.)

Lastly, I really am sorry that I never got these out to you. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Let’s make 2010 memorable.

(And filled with lies, of course)

       

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