A Humbled J-Ri…
To begin, this is not an entirely voluntary post. I’m glad we got that out of the way. Okay, enough disclaimers…
Let’s get to the point here. I stink at relationships. Not just dating relationships (which I’m undoubtedly the worst at), but ALL relationships. My average email response time is somewhere between 12-953 days. I typically respond to about 1/3rd of my text messages. I honestly haven’t checked my voice mail since I changed my number a couple of months ago. When it comes to Facebook, there’s a good chance that I’ll never actually respond.
I could dedicate this blog to any number of excuses. However, as a counselor just recently told me, my actions show that I don’t place a high value on relationships. I argued that for at least twenty minutes before I conceded the point. … And that is a serious problem.
Here’s the thing: I know that other people are essential in life. I know that my personal potential will never be achieved without other people. I really do desire companionship and relationships with others. As much as I absolutely detest it, I know that God is using (and has used) failed relationships to highlight this glowing weakness in my life. Excuse me while I cuss at myself for being 28 years old and still not having learned this lesson.
&%*$#@*^$%
Thanks for hanging with me through that. This is seriously depressing. So, here’s the deal. Typically, I get between 700-900 page views on a day when I post a blog. That tells me somebody is probably reading this. Help me out here.
I want to hear about your successful relationships. And you don’t have to write a novel if you don’t want to (Although I’m taking submissions). For many, you’ve been married for years and couldn’t be happier. Others of you have great friendships that you wouldn’t forfeit for all the money in the world. What ignites those types of relationships? How are they upheld during periods of conflict? Ultimately, how do I translate my head knowledge into tangible actions?
I can take your rebuke, no matter how harsh, if it’s going to produce change and future success. I know alot of amazing people. I’m sure at least some of you can give me some equally amazing advice on all of this.
Let’s have a discussion. The mic is open…
Subscribe to J-Ri.com by Email
Email me!
Subscribe to my Feed!
Add me on Facebook!
You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself bud. I myself find myself sucking at relationships from time to time too. Whether it’s with family, friends, best friends, ect.. It’s not that I don’t value the friendship or relationship…it’s just that it is so easy to get caught up in what’s going on in Lindsey’s world that I sometimes forget to remember the people who are right there with me, the people who I love and care so much about. I think we really are more selfish people than we would like to think we are. I will openly and honestly admit that about myself.
I don’t know how many times I have made plans with friends just to blow them off because “something came up..” When really it was me being selfish with my time. I wish I did have the answer or solution on how to fix this problem… I guess one way to look at it (and I am saying this to myself as well) is obviously there are a lot of people who love and care about you… But relationships can not be one-sided. Of course there will always be those friends who you know will always be your friends whether you talk to them once a week or once every 3 months… almost everyone has those kind of friends. But as far as your closest relationships… those take a little more work, and it is worth it. Those are the people who are on your team, they are the ones you go to when you need help, prayer, comforting, acceptance… They are also the first ones you tell when you have good news, an answer to prayer… I believe those are the most important relationships and they take the most work. And the funny thing is you would think that when you care that deeply about someone, it wouldn’t be work but it is. But it almost always pays off!!
I can not imagine how lonely life would be without having those important relationships. I know you’ve probably read this before as it’s floated all over myspace, emails, ect… but I think it helps put relationships in perspective.
Reason, Season and Lifetime…
People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
..
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
or to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
…
Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
…
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
…
When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,
the season eventually ends.
…
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being part of my life.
Anyway, you’ll figure it out bud, just because you’re 28 years old and feel like you haven’t gotten it down yet… There is still time (if God allows, of course) to figure it out. Just takes a little prioritizing… Trust me, I am working on the same thing… I don’t want to be 70 years old someday and die lonely and miserable because I didn’t manage to take a little of my time to invest in friendships and relationships… just something to think about.
Hey Jason- I am no expert, but I feel compelled to share a small tidbit b/c I hve seen the healing power Christ can have in a relationship. All I can tell you is that God HAS to be the center. Before truly asking God to be the center of our lives and relationship James and I had all kinds of problems {that I can’t even remember now}. We would sometimes go for a week at a time without speaking to one another over stupid senseless matters. After almost 2 years of marriage I really thought it was over…Then we gave our marriage to God. After lots of prayer and bible study together, we both committed to taking care of our own behavior and not trying to change one another. Something that really helped to change my perspective and behavior was the Message version of 1 Cor 13. I decided to read it every day and measure it against how I was treating James and thinking about him. It also shaped the way I interacted with all of my family and friends. It is truly amazing how God’s word can renew our mind. Hope this is encouraging to you.